GrandMa

Mehrdad's father was in hospital for a week. During this time her mother was alone and last night after lots of demands she accepted to be with us for a night.

Honestly speaking, during all these 9 years of being with her I had bitter and sweet moments, but really those sweet ones are much more than bitter ones, I should confess even those bitter ones are result of my high expectations, although when she is always available and praying for our success it's enough.

I wrote all these lines to say that the old story of general conflicts between bride and mother_in_laws in Iran isn't true in my case.

When she came, I was wondering what to cook, simply she said she wants "Abgoosht", a traditional Iranian food made of meat and potato and peas and beans. It's one of the simplest dish but need every member of family participate in preparing and gathering together.

Rozana was very happy, even she put in order all her toys just for the sake of her. Grandma sat and talked about her younge era and memories of her parents and ...

Rozana was very happy. At 10 when she went to bed and Mehrdad started her night story reading, grandma also went there and participated in some parts. In the morning we all ate breakfast together and then I fetch Rozana to kindergarten, Mehrdad to taxi station, grandma to her house and I went to work.

It was really a great night. I was looking to my father's mother when Mehrdad's mother was there, I felt that current of kind and happy family together, really I came back to my childhood.Even Mehrdad and Rozana were talking the same today.

Thanks God that his father is released now and they are together. These old people are treasures of our lives which unfortunately most of us will found it when it's too late.

Scared

I want to mention something today which is not usual but really is scaring me most of the times.


When I look into my friends, families, ... lives I saw lots of problems they are involved in, some of them are sick, with or without any known cure, some of them have problem with their spouses, some have economic problems, some are single looking for some mate, jobless looking for a job, bearing addict members in family, ...


I don't fell into any of these categories, I'm really happy and enjoying all moments of life, I am happy of hearing Rozana's voice and watching her playing, I'm happy of having Mehrdad beside, nagging or laughing, caring or careless, I'm happy of visiting my parents everyday, I'm happy of having a job, getting another chance of education, having my brothers and sister beside, even living in another country, I'm happy of being healthy and wealthy enough, having some precious friends like KhaleSanaz, working with my colleges, ... and you know what's the result, I'm fearing that what will happen to me, somehow, having everything is not fair, maybe I'm losing a precious thing in near future, what's my destiny, I'm fearing and sometimes like to cry for that unknown part of my prosperity which is going to be taken in future!!!!!!!!!!


It's not usual, I know, but these fears are living with me nowadays, I'm scared....

9th Anniversary

Today is the 9th anniversary of my working age. 9 years ago I was a 23 year old girl, just graduated and looking for a work as a habit, not a source of money . During these years I found some close friends, got married, had a daughter,continued academic education, got lots of experiences,...

Realy I don't regret any moment of this life, I've enjoyed all parts of it, with all good and bad moments, with all successes and defeats, with all smiles and tears. I've lived with my collegues these years, experienced being indipendant and having my own role in life game.

Hope you all enjoy your working life, otherwise you will ruin precious moments.

Planning

When Rozana is wearing Mehrdad's trousers.



I'm thinking of another child these days more than before. Rozana is growing and honestly she is a very good one, not very naughty, not very spoiled, full of energy and hope but she is certainly in diffense of having a brother or sister. whenever I ask her weather she likes a brother or a sister, no-doubtfully, she answers none of them.

I know this planning is very important because she should accept it with open arms, so maybe I should wait more, but I'm thinking of herself too, when she is 20, Mehrdad and I are aged and still only caring about her. We would be disturbing somehow, she needs another participant in the territory of her family, she should learn sharing her emotions and dreams with another member of the territory, ....

...And I'm studying and working, so when I'm going to plan!!!

What do you think? Is it a good idea, having another child, after raising the first one for almost 5 years and passing all the tough moments of her illnesses and feeding and sleeping troubles, in this situation of living in Iran, with all expenses and pollution and faded future? Am I thinking wrong? Realy I'm confused.

Exams

Today I found that my first exam is going to be held this week !!!!!!!!!!! I was at home last 2 days but because I'd thought my exams are in the next week I didn't study even a page. Now I'm wondering what to do with this carelessness.

Maybe laughing is the best choice :)))))))

Raising your flowers

Last week I was invited to Rozana's kindergarten for learning some pedagogic hints of children. A professor was invited and lots of parents participated, I was wondering that number of participants were two times more than |Yalda ceremony. It shows parents are interested in training good children.


Anyway, he talked about some matters which I found useful to be shared here:


First of all, if your child does something wrong, for example breaking an expensive vase, before shouting at her and blaming for the damage, just think about a ruler which is called sense meter. This ruler has 10 degree which each of them have a certain meaning.10 means you are already dead, 9 is you are near to be dead, 8 is one of your close relative is dead .... so now think about that broken vase, what's the degree of the sense meter? surely 0 or 1, so for what an unimportant degree don't make the child fear up to dead. In any punishment situation like this think about 3 important thing: 1- If this punishment is suitable for the task or not(as I described before) 2-If this punishment is fulfilling your cause and 3-If you are keeping your child and your own dignity.


As an example, imagine your child has painted the wall, think about possible options: killing child, tossing her out of the window, cleaning the wall by yourself, shouting and cleaning, cleaning by her participate, asking her to clean it lonely, don't pay any attention ,.... you see ,there are lots of choice and a good mother is the one who select the best choice. With considering those 3 rules , it seems asking her to clean it lonely is the best one so do it.


Another useful think I learnt was about the way of ordering children. If you use the subject "You" in your sentences be sure there won't be noticeable advantage at the end. Try using subject"I". For example imagine a situation you have cleaned all the room from the morning till noon and sudden;y you saw her room is as dirty as before, full of toys and dolls everywhere. If you say "You must clean your room." there won't be any reason at the end, but if you say "I've cleaned the room from morning, I like finding your room as clean as before, I like to give you time for cleaning it." it certainly works.


We parents should believe that we are living in different generation than our children. If I was 6 and my mom says the computer doesn't work for avoiding me from playing more than a certain time, It doesn't work today. Now you should describe all the harms of playing irregular and the help her avoiding it. Of course it's not as easy as I'm writing here but practice will make everything perfect. Let it be tried.