Rozana

At last everything is finished or better to say everything is started now. She is with us, very healthy and tranquil, so cute and sweaty and all the other adjectives you need for describing a source of life….
She is 9 day old now. At born date she was 3.250 kg and her height was 50-cm. The measure of the around area of her head was 37 cm and she was healthy so we left the hospital on Sunday noon.

Now I can sit behind monitor and write about her but now with lots of differences, I have a new experience in my life, which made these last 9 days very strange.

Before Rozana’s birth I always thought that it’s a sweet miracle, done by God to make a new inspiration in people’s life but now I look at this miracle from another view:
Have you ever been unconscious? What do you think about those moments, which you are not here, but you are here and they are making a surgery on your body? It was like a dream for me, exactly a dream that was sweet at first and became a nightmare when I was becoming conscious after 2 hours. This time is a gap in my mind; the only thing, which made it tolerable, was the first moment when a nurse put Rozana in my arms. Then gradually I believed that my dream is over and now I’m again in the world.
Have you ever been as weak as a worm, even not able to move your leg or hands and just gazing at your mom or nurse to help you for moving your head to the other side?
Or better to say have you ever felt you are that much weak which are not able to live without your mothers help?(what will happen for those who don’t have any mother available for helping?)
Have you ever asked about your husband just by SMS to avoid making your daughter awake? Have you felt that how much you have missed him although you have been with each other all the day?
These first 9 days were very strange, I wasn’t good at babysitting and wasn’t able to stop her hunger by breastfeeding so she was hungry and just crying. Her uncomfortable ness made me sad and I was crying with her.

I wrote all these problems to prove that having a child is not as easy as my estimations but now honestly I can confess something, her existence costs all these tiny problems. When she is laughing at her sleep, when she is looking forward you to stop her hunger, when she is looking at you after cleanings by calmness …. Then you can only thank God for being this much fortunate of having her.

I’ll try to write more in my weblog but if it doesn’t happen it’s not my fault ;)
In attachment you can look at some of her first day’s photos: