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Rozana

At last everything is finished or better to say everything is started now. She is with us, very healthy and tranquil, so cute and sweaty and all the other adjectives you need for describing a source of life….
She is 9 day old now. At born date she was 3.250 kg and her height was 50-cm. The measure of the around area of her head was 37 cm and she was healthy so we left the hospital on Sunday noon.

Now I can sit behind monitor and write about her but now with lots of differences, I have a new experience in my life, which made these last 9 days very strange.

Before Rozana’s birth I always thought that it’s a sweet miracle, done by God to make a new inspiration in people’s life but now I look at this miracle from another view:
Have you ever been unconscious? What do you think about those moments, which you are not here, but you are here and they are making a surgery on your body? It was like a dream for me, exactly a dream that was sweet at first and became a nightmare when I was becoming conscious after 2 hours. This time is a gap in my mind; the only thing, which made it tolerable, was the first moment when a nurse put Rozana in my arms. Then gradually I believed that my dream is over and now I’m again in the world.
Have you ever been as weak as a worm, even not able to move your leg or hands and just gazing at your mom or nurse to help you for moving your head to the other side?
Or better to say have you ever felt you are that much weak which are not able to live without your mothers help?(what will happen for those who don’t have any mother available for helping?)
Have you ever asked about your husband just by SMS to avoid making your daughter awake? Have you felt that how much you have missed him although you have been with each other all the day?
These first 9 days were very strange, I wasn’t good at babysitting and wasn’t able to stop her hunger by breastfeeding so she was hungry and just crying. Her uncomfortable ness made me sad and I was crying with her.

I wrote all these problems to prove that having a child is not as easy as my estimations but now honestly I can confess something, her existence costs all these tiny problems. When she is laughing at her sleep, when she is looking forward you to stop her hunger, when she is looking at you after cleanings by calmness …. Then you can only thank God for being this much fortunate of having her.

I’ll try to write more in my weblog but if it doesn’t happen it’s not my fault ;)
In attachment you can look at some of her first day’s photos:

Week - 39 (Last Week)

Finally you are coming. This is my last post before your birth. You are coming to a new world full of people and animals, toys and cloths, foods and drinks and lots of feelings like sadness and happiness.
We are ready for your coming. Last night your grandma and Mehrdad and I went to your new house and packed all the things needed for bringing you from hospital to home such as a suit of your cloths which is labeled as 0~3 months, a little bottle for feeding you, a soft towel, a light blanket and a suitcase for carrying you.
In the morning Atijoon came Iran. I didn’t go to the airport but she is coming in the afternoon to help us for making your room ready. I’ll take lots of photos and films for these last nights.
If everything be on time, I should go to the hospital on Saturday morning at 6 AM and up to 8:30 they will make me ready for the surgery and then you will be born between 9~9:20. I’ll be conscious about 11AM and then will be able to look at your face……….. I was waiting for this moment even more than 9 months.
I don’t know what to write today, I’m really excited, it’s somehow unbelievable that you are coming to my hands in 2 days, even I’m feeling this excitement in the face of your father and grandparents.
Come to me my little angel, come to us my Rozana.
Welcome to your new world…

Week - 38

باز کن چشمت را
تا دلم باز شود
قصه زندگی آغاز شود
تا که از پنجره چشمانت عشق آغاز شود
تا دلم باز شود تا دلم باز شود.

سرد سرد است اینجا
باز کن پنجره را
باز کن چشمت را
شاد کن جان مرا.

.
.
.
We are all here waiting for you my little princess. After weeks of waiting…after lots of praying to the kind God… after lots of stress for making your house ready…. And after lots of kindnesses from your friends and family who were always with me to not feeling alone.
I don’t know if you are with us next week or not but just want to make you sure that we are all here waiting for you…

Week - 37

Hi honey. Again another Thursday and the turn of our talking!!! How are you? From now, you are totally complete and are only gaining weight. It means that you are definitely ready for coming to us.
Your movements are very strong and I feel that while you are not comfortable, you do your most to make your situation better.
I somehow, am different from other moms. Most of the women are counting these last days to see the face of their little angel ASAP, but I’m praying to make this time as long as possible. I had my own reasons for my wish. First of all, before your birthday I think you are the closes member of family to me. I’m feeling your wake and sleep times, I’m feeling your hip hops, I’m feeling your comfort … I mean just by my feelings which is so intimate and personal, I’m looking at you. But after your birth this close relation will change. My second reason is our house, which was given to us 2 weeks later than our estimation. Now your grandma and I are going here and there to buy the staffs needed. I prefer to make everything ready before your come, see, it’s really better for both of us to keep you safe in my belly and do works.
And good news, next week while I’m writing our weekly talks, Attijoon is with us. It seems that all those long waiting times are getting shorter and shorter.
Kisssssssss honey for today. Be sure everything is OK here; don’t make your nice mind worried. Just rest and have fun. Bye for today.