Raising your flowers

Last week I was invited to Rozana's kindergarten for learning some pedagogic hints of children. A professor was invited and lots of parents participated, I was wondering that number of participants were two times more than |Yalda ceremony. It shows parents are interested in training good children.


Anyway, he talked about some matters which I found useful to be shared here:


First of all, if your child does something wrong, for example breaking an expensive vase, before shouting at her and blaming for the damage, just think about a ruler which is called sense meter. This ruler has 10 degree which each of them have a certain meaning.10 means you are already dead, 9 is you are near to be dead, 8 is one of your close relative is dead .... so now think about that broken vase, what's the degree of the sense meter? surely 0 or 1, so for what an unimportant degree don't make the child fear up to dead. In any punishment situation like this think about 3 important thing: 1- If this punishment is suitable for the task or not(as I described before) 2-If this punishment is fulfilling your cause and 3-If you are keeping your child and your own dignity.


As an example, imagine your child has painted the wall, think about possible options: killing child, tossing her out of the window, cleaning the wall by yourself, shouting and cleaning, cleaning by her participate, asking her to clean it lonely, don't pay any attention ,.... you see ,there are lots of choice and a good mother is the one who select the best choice. With considering those 3 rules , it seems asking her to clean it lonely is the best one so do it.


Another useful think I learnt was about the way of ordering children. If you use the subject "You" in your sentences be sure there won't be noticeable advantage at the end. Try using subject"I". For example imagine a situation you have cleaned all the room from the morning till noon and sudden;y you saw her room is as dirty as before, full of toys and dolls everywhere. If you say "You must clean your room." there won't be any reason at the end, but if you say "I've cleaned the room from morning, I like finding your room as clean as before, I like to give you time for cleaning it." it certainly works.


We parents should believe that we are living in different generation than our children. If I was 6 and my mom says the computer doesn't work for avoiding me from playing more than a certain time, It doesn't work today. Now you should describe all the harms of playing irregular and the help her avoiding it. Of course it's not as easy as I'm writing here but practice will make everything perfect. Let it be tried.