I've moved from blogger.com to Google+ so some tiny differences has occurred in my blog appearance. I'm still wondering how much this gigantic Google is going on, with the invention of Android and Google engine in the web, definitely I think it's the biggest hypermedia company in the world.

Help Others

 

Nowadays I'm thinking about a new finding. Whenever I'm helping someone it's only for my own sake not her/him. I mean I help people to get self-satisfaction not to make them happy. It's somehow confusing. Maybe I help someone who doesn't like me or even help me in need of future or in the past but I still continue helping without thinking about possible prizes.... and whenever I think about my gifts in advance of that help, my soul become disturbed and can't concentrate on my tasks.

Nowadays I'm happy of helping a friend although she didn't pay any attention to me after her emergency situation completed. 

 

Reminder of Pregnancy News

5 years ago in such a day (before Ghorban), I became aware of my pregnancy. Even now I can feel the great taste of my imaginations about a new angel, in a boy or girl dress, coming to us from another world. I called my mom, Mehrdad and friends about the news ... Now she is 51 months old and the most precious thing in my world. Even now I don't know how I'm able to express my emotions of her.
Thanks God.

Jigaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

In Work Office

Ghazalak

Once upon a time I was addicted to reading Ghazalak, a weblog of one of my friends. It hasn't been updated for more than 6 months. Now Ghazalak is Artins's ( a googooli boy) mother and probably hasn't any free time for uploading. I understand but honestly I've missed that green color of blog which was the symbol of owners availability in cyber world.
Welcome dear Artin to this nice, busy, tasty, crowded and amazing planet called earth(Belated).

Darabad

Darabad is the place or better the urban we live in. These pictures were taken yesterday after just 10 minutes of walking from home, beside a very nice river ,while Rozana was playing in the water and made herself totally wet. Sometimes I think about how far my living place is from my workplace but when I taste the feeling of playing in the river most afternoons or holidays and also walk to my parents in only 5 minutes, I thank God.

Rozana's 4th BDay

Happy Birthday Rozana

On Thursday Rozana got 4 years old. Again it was a hint for remembering her birth time and all my sense and feelings around that time.
But her party wasn't as sweet as her birth, I invited about 20 guests but from morning till 4 pm for some repairing problem all the water network was down!!!!!!! Imagine I was in hurry to cook my meal and wash fruits and clean house and also prepare for Eftar but no water. I was wondering if I should cancel all preparation or not till 4. Any how, guests came and they were all happy but believe that in the middle of summer suddenly some dark clouds appear, lots of terrifying lightening occurred and electricity went off!!! At that time I need crying. Children were screaming and I was running for some candles. Even Rozana's uncle stayed about 10 minutes behind the door because he couldn't ring the bell. After 90 minutes electricity came and everything seems normal. All my happiness was for Rozana's happiness with her guests and gifts. I feel it during spoofing candles and opening gifts. I will put some pictures in next days. Thank you all kind friends and guests.

Children

In Ramazan Mehrdad comes home at 9PM and most of the times Rozana is preparing for sleep at that time. Some nights ago he said he can't see her alot and missed her so decided to come home earlier that before at the other day. Next day Rozana went to play with her friends in the building yard from 5 to 9 (!!!) so Mehrdaddidn't succeeded in playing with her although he was at home from 6. It made me thainking alot. At the moment she is only 4 but didn't pay any attention to us and does what she likes ,what would be expected in 20 years ? Why do we all think we should have at least one child for completing the prosperity then 2nd child for benefiting from tham in aging years ... then just rounding and working for their comfort up to reaching those ages and then .... they want to be with their friends, loves, rommates and we feel alone and maybe think back to the way we passed.
Rozana is wonderful and I know she is doing in a normal manner, maybe we parents are somehow overestimating them.

Cyprus

I have planted some Coleus blumei (حسن يوسف ) in my office room. Maybe you know this type, you should water it everyday and ofcourse needs lots of light and warm place. I f only one day you forget watering be sure that you will lose lots of nice leaves which took weeks to be grown, only one day and lots of lost !!!

Our behaviour is like that I think, maybe you work and try your best but should be careful, if doing only one mistake you will lose lots of good points and should wait for new leaves to grow.

 

I went to Cyprus last week with Mehrdad and Rozana. It was nice but very expensive and with my mobile phone off, I felt somehow relaxed and during my trip, my kind colegues took care of my small garden. Here are some of Rozana's pics.

Lost in Thoughts

Yes ,It's been along time since my last updates here. I don't know why but sometimes you don't like doing something, it happens for me a lot, although we are hungry and there is no food I don't like cooking, although everywhere is messy I don't like cleaning, although I've missed my friends and have free time I don't like calling them. I do notice to these moments and when these moments turn from seldom happenings to a usual daily rutin then I should be aware of something else, maybe signs of depression as KhaleSanaz alerts or ... Anyway, last month I was in this mood, I was sinking in exams and work, no serious attention to Rozana, or Mehrdad and of course the important one who is MYSELF. I was totally forgotten in my daily time.
Now, my mood is changed, I talk with Mehrdad more than before, give time for Rozana playing and invite guests and cook for them. I know I should cherish these infant of my soul otherwise she would be depressed.
We were supposed to go to Brazil last month but for some carelessness of the tour agency our transit visa wasn't prepared on time and we missed the flight. We went to north of Iran with Mehrdad's family and it was like cool water in hot nervous days. I know one day this trip will come true but when is the secret.
Beyond all these, I have a grandmother in Mashad, she is there and I've missed her. I'm looking for a time to visit her. I need her smell ...

Prices

Sometime you are happy out of nothing or maybe you are happy but others think it's no reason.
Abji (my dear grandma) is sick and in the hospital for about 1 month. She is not well and her heart is not beating in a good manner. Today morning she was supposed to have an operation and nobody was sure about her heart beat after the surgery. Now ,I'm happy because her doctor didn't let for the surgery and she is still alive, maybe paining but ALIVE. She is with us and I've missed her for all my life...

Labor's Day

1st of May is named as Labor's day in the world calendar. Workers from all over the world will express themselves for those who are benefiting from them and forget their role.
In Iran of course it's not as easy as other places. Those who wish to be in these gatherings should be ready for any accident from 1 to unlimited days of jail ...
Anyway, Mehrdad's workplace is always off in this day. I went to work and asked him to bring Rozana to her kindergarten in the morning. But Mehrdad forgot to wake up ( !!!! ) till 11. Let me describe the rest from Mehrdad's quotes : " I saw a little foot on my head and heard a nice voice shouting for spoofing her toes !!! I asked her what's happening and she said I've put on nail polishes on my hand and toes. I spoofed my hand fingers and you should poof my toes.... You imagine what happened next .
Rozana is growing and growing. Maybe I write here rarely ,it's out of my busy days but I'm online in facebook more often. She can count with calculator !!! dance in her own manner, talk, talk, talk non-stop for really 2 hours :))) and cry just at the moment she want... She is growing and I'm thinking how precious she is for me and wish all those who want having child come to their wishes.

Ramsar- April 2011

 

Iran

I'm living in Iran, I don't know why I was born here but it's my destiny, yes of course I can change it by some efforts but here is my homeland and I can't bare any distance from my parents anyhow, I was born in Iran and CHOSE living here ...
Yesterday when I went home I saw Police officers had came and collected all satellite equipments and also want to arrest the man who is building manager !!!!!!!! Then I saw Gass bill which was attached in the elevator, about 3000$ for 10 apartments.
Now we can not even watch Iran damn channels :)))
I'm living in Iran and unfortunately, I ,myself have chosen it so I can't blame anyone else ...

Careless

These days I think I'm turning to a really careless one. Most of the times I've forgotten something : Wearing watch and ring, bringing cellphone, bringing my lunch, wearing bra ( !!!!!!!!!! ), putting Rozana's snacks in her bag, calling someone important ...
It's maybe because of my rush in the mornings for being on time (most of the times unsuccessful of course ) or maybe I don't give them enough attention and then suffering their lack. Anyhow, thanks God Rozana is not missed yet ( :D ) and everything about her is perfect.

Rozana and End of Holidays

Right now I'm at work and searching for some articles about "forum user classification" and Rozana and Mehrdad are playing at Mellat park !!! Maybe you think I'm mad that don't leave my workplace even during this new year holidays but I'm really worried about my university lessons and now think I've chosen a somehow not bare able task(studying) this time.
In last days we have guests and were guests too, played with Rozana and meet and talked lots of relatives and friends who haven't heard from for a long time.
KhaleSanaz is between us but sad and missing her father all the times. When I look at her don't know what to say, in one hand I should say you must forget his pass away and try to find yourself but in the other hand ,when I wear her shoes I feel it's not tolerable. Anyhow, like always life is going on.

Happy New Year

We all are preparing for New Year coming, with all rush hours and busy times, with all sad and happy moments, with all memories of beloved ones who are not with us any more ( God Bless KhaleSanaz's father), with all tears and smiles ... I'm wishing you all my kind readers a year full of health and wealth, beside your family and with prosperity.
Last year wasn't bad for me but also not good for lots of Iranians. I re-made a faded friendship just by one dream, I was accepted in MS, I enjoyed all moments of being with Rozana and Mehrdad and also I felt I've entered 3rd decade of my life. I don't know what's going on in future but am hopeful od a delighted destiny.
Again my brothers and Attiejoon are not among us for Eid and I've missed them, But I'm really thankful of God that gave me another chance of being beside my parents and family.
Hope you all have happy moments.
Eide Noruz Mobarak

God Bless Him

Today or yesterday or (it's not important) KhaleSanaz's father died in Mecca. I'm still shocked and wondering how to calm my friend.
He was a kind man, God bless him. Amen.

New Year Ceremony

 

Yesterday Mehrdad and I were invited in Rozana's kindergarten ceremony for the sake of Nowruz. This time we were guests and children were hosts. They danced and singed, they laughed and made us laugh, they changed cloths and played new roles. In short I must say they were perfect. Yesterday was snowy and being on time was somehow difficult ,but I know all those films and pictures which are reminders for Yesterday of Rozana worth everything.

Ceremony

Tomorrow ,a ceremony for coming of New Year will be held in Rozana's kindergarten. Up to last night we tought she is supposed to play role of Zanjir (chain) but we found she is going to play Anjir(fig) !!! I'll put some photos on Saturday.

Today morning my sister-in-law (Hamideh) called me and ased if I need someone fortaking care of Rozana during my presence at work. Her call in that early morning gave me a big bunch of positive energy. I felt there is someone who is thinking about me (althought she is always there beside lots of other friends) but her kind voice and nice caring was so preciouse. Thank You.

...and Spring is coming, it's still snowy here and everyone are running for their rutin tasks but I can smell it clearly, clean and nice, just behind the door, we should only welcome.

Busy Days

It's a long time since my last posts here. Maybe it's be cause of my blog filtration or my busy days of last days of the year or ...
Whatever it is , obviously I'm losing lots of my daily visitors and think it's not polite if not apologizing those who come here daily and see no new post.

Rozana is perfect, she sings and dances, she talks and talks, she orders carrots for feeding rabbits in the way back home from kindergarten, she was angry of our new TV, she is always asking her uncle for going to north of Iran with Mohammadreza, she gave her moneys to my mom for buying suveniours from Mashad (!!!), She is GROWING.

... and I'm confused with doing my best at work, in home, with Rozana and with university courses.
Thanks God that life is going on.

University

Yesterday I attended in the first session of my MS classes in AmirKabir university. In summer I participated in entrance exam and I was accepted in the field of IT for Managers. Our courses are held via internet and we must be in the main classes just once a month. It's interesting that again Sanaz and I are going to the same education center. What's the secrets of this friendship, even I don't know.

Allah- Allah

Today morning I was coming to work by taxi. Radio was on and we were listening to news, music, advertisements ... then it started singing Allah- Allah which is a song made for Iran revolution 31 years ago and is broad-casted every year in the anniversary of that revolution. Suddenly a young man shouted at the driver: " Make it shut up". His anger was surprising and driver changed channel immediately.
I paid him and get out after some minutes, but I was thinking what has this revolution done to my generation which has caused this much hatefulness!!!
I hope the result in Egypt, Tunis, Yemen and other Arab countries who are deciding to change their governors be better.

Snowing

It's snowing and snowing and snowing. Today morning when I saw everywhere in white ,intact snow and I thought how should I go to work I wasn't feeling good. But now, I'm at work, sipping a warm hot-chocolate and gazing to the white spots of snow, I'm feeling incredible happiness.
Rozana and I should go and make a real snow-man tomorrow, if happened then I'll put photos here :)

Thanks God

Last night I heard news of one of my friends pregnancy and I became very very happy. Always a new child born is a hint of coming miracle I think, a messenger of God is planning to leave his/her saint place and is coming to our world, but this time there was some differences and now I'm happy.
Thanks God for his always persistance in my life, thanks her for her kindness (He could be a she and vise versa;) )...

Expensive

Two nights ago Mehrdad and I were checking some traveling agencies tours and prices for Nowruz holidays. Of course all of them have increase in prices about 80~100 %. I was reading and involuntarily saying " Ohhh, how expensive, ... ,how expensive it is ... "
Last night we had some guests and I was cleaning the house. I asked Rozana to help me and collect papers of tours. Sudden;y I saw she has sited on the sofa and has a paper in her hands but in the opposite side and is saying :" Oh Oh Oh ,how expensive it is" !!!!!!!!!
She was my mirror and just guess how was my feeling .

Life Price

Today morning Mehrdad called and said last night 8 labours died out of a truck driver mistake !!!!!! He drove over 16 people and up to now 8 of them have died.

I don't know what to say. I'm thinking about those labours wives. They were waiting for their husbands last night to come home and rest for another day work, these labours were working in the night turn so they must be poor that had no other way except working in night. They had children too, what should those wives say to their children who are waiting for their fathers... I'm thinking about Rozana who is always waiting for Mehrdad at certain time of his coming ,they were same ...

What country are we living at? How much is the price of our lives? Who is that driver? Is he able to sleep from now? If yes, what had this society done to his soul? I have lots of questions... I'm sad for those labours and their families, I'll cry for those children who don't have a father since last night ...

Sanction

For those readers who are living in Iran I should give some news that they are able to download Google Earth,Google Chrome and Picasa directly from Google site. Up to now we were forbidden of using these softwares but I think even foreigners sympathize with us who are living in this hell and let us download them by no charge.

First places I searched by Google Earth after installation was my mom's house and my grandma's house in Mashad. I've missed them again.

Deliciouse

Which aspect of this picture is interesting for you? ;)

Nima

When we were children and were living in Mashad, my grandma had a neighbour who was living alone with her only daughter, she was divorced and lived alone, her daughter grown and got married, she had a son but she also didn't have a tolerable husband so she got divorced too and raised her son lonely. All these years we were witness of their efforts to raise him honorably and growing him like a gentelman. My grandma's daughter was working as airplane waitress. She became retired and found a job in Iran national air line for Nima ...
Yesterday when my mom called and said Nima was working in that plane which had crashed 2days ago, I felt time is frozen, really I wasn't able to think for some seconds. All theses years were flashing in my mind, Nima was only 28 years old, he was all the treasure of his mother and granmother, he was in love and was going to marry with her girlfriend, he was too young...
I don't know how the days of my grandma's neighbor will go on but I'm sure they don't have any enthusiasm for living, this is the price of living in Iran, we are all martyres.

God bless Nima and give patience to her mother, God bless all air crash victims and give patience to their families. God bless all of us.

Not Feeling Good

Last night Mehrdad was supposed to fly Tehran around 23:30. I tought everything would be OK. So I went and met my parents then back home with Rozana about 20. She played and watched some cartoons and then slept about 21. I tried watching TV but out of snow, our satellite dish was covered so I decided to turn the fire in fireplace on, bring a blanket and lie reading a new novel. Everything was calm, I was enjoying the environment and happy of being beside fire while weather was snowing heavily.
Suddenly I decided to try satellite again, I think maybe I can find some channel working , I turned it on and opened BBC channel. It said: Breaking News, an Iranian airplane had air crash near Orumieh and parobably all 106 passengers had died. The reason had been announced as bad weather conditions...
I was shocked, first talked to Mehrdad and then count all the seconds till he came home about 2 am. I cursed myself times and again why I listened to the news, why I'm living in a country which has lots of air clushes ....
I didn't slept well and in the morning wasn't able to use my car out of snow, I walked with Rozana to my mom's, then standed beside the street for more than 15 minutes and turned to a white snow woman ... I'm very tired and like to cry.

Snowy Morning

Today morning,directly after getting out the bed, when I looked out (This task is always done by me, I don't know the reason but it seems I'm always waiting for a miracle done at the night and I should be the first one who is informed) I saw everywhere was white out of last night snow (It could be that miracle in the polluted weather of Tehran, couldn't be?). I jump and waked up Mehrdad, then it was Rozana's turn. I called her calmly, but no reaction, it seems she didn't hear me. I told her everywhere is white, suddenly she opened her eyes and asked did it snow last night? and my answer was like a dynamit, she jumped and get armed, weared her gloves and hat and all needs of playing in the snow and she was laughing and singing while we were getting out.
I was thinking about amount of energy which is given by a very natural incident calls snow. We can be happy if we want, just should look for the reason.

Dictators

We are used to hear what we like , no matter if it's correct or not, if it's our right for stopping it's broadcasting or not, if it's fair or not...
We are used to hear what we like because we LIKE to hear it and think everyone should change themselves for our sake.
Isn't it a kind of dictatorship? I think certainly it is. What's the difference between a dictator who has power to force people thinking in his method and we, if trying to make others think same as our opinion, only the power? It's not important. Our method of thinking is in first degree of attention, we have a potential dictators inside, ...


P.S. Thanks God I have my blog, this is the only place I can talk frankly and am able to simply answer my criticizers " Don't read if you wish, It's your right to choose your page." I'm a dictator too ...