Again ...

Although I'm looking older, having less free time, doing just common works in life, promoted at work, asking everyone to take care of Rozana in my mama's absence .... but should confess that i'm thinking about another child as a probability. Whenever I hear one of my friends or relatives are pregnant I envy her and wish I was in her position.
Being mother is a sense which costs lots of problems. Gradully while breast-feeding of Rozana is reducing I feel my motherness or innocense is fading. Maybe I'm wronge, A mother is always a mother, after even 80 years she is a mother . But I'm dying for a new feeling of motherness.

Kiss you my little angel a lottttttttttttt.

First Hair-Cut

Yesterday Rozana had her first hair-cut in a saloon. Ofcourse she was better than our predictions and let woman do her job but at the end she didn't let them make her hair dried so came back with wet hair!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Those nice hair are under this red hat,maybe you'll see them in the next post :D

No Trust

These days my mind is so busy on a matter of cheap people who are not reliable and not worth to be kind to them. I did something for some one with the aim of helping and now she is using it against me for the sake of her own benefit.
It's not the important part of the story because I won't be disturbed at the end , but the important part is my relying to the people who is faded now.
I think I can't rely anyone any more( except a very close range of people), any how all these reasons caused me not giving even a look to the people who were waiting for taxi in yesterday rainy day( I used to fetch women who were in rainy weather waiting for car for no money) , It caused me trying to be a worse person.

Ching-Chang-Chung

This is Rozana in her Malaisan dress.
You can trace the process of her nagging and end of it by taking Mehrdad's mobile phone!!!!!!!!!

Chelleh

Tonight is called Chelleh in Iranians calendar, a night for being with our parents in the longest night of the year and enjoying the feeling of having someone beside.
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We are going to my parents home, we are going to have happy moments...
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Last night Mehrdad and I had argument at about 2AM !!! It was about way of making Rozana asleep. She sleeps ONLY in her father's arms!!!!!!!! Maybe it's out of my recklessness or my carelessness or my cruelness but whatever the reason is, the important part is the result. Now we have a boiled daughter who will be sick if doesn't see his father a night and when they are with each other , she asks with her screams for his hug. It results to his tiredness in nights, my calm sleeping and a procedure which I know is wrong.
It's Mehrdad's kindness taking care of her during nights but we should change as soon as possible for preventing more problems, what do you think?

Snow

Yesterday we saw the first serious snow in Tehran. We were invited and doubtful for going or not. Finally decided to go but Mama was just calling and asking to come back sooner. Anyhow, we enjoyed the party beside friends and Rozana eat and walk and played as much as she could. Then we came back. Gradually we were nearing Darabad the snow was becoming heavier. With lots of prays and worries we came to our alley but the car wasn't able to enter parking so parked it outside.
In the morning again we had problems. Ground was so slippery and car was going where ever it liked. Any how , everything is OK now. But I'm always wondering how fragile we are in Tehran. A 2 hour snow can stop all ordinary live procedures.

Winter Cloths

Mamaaaaaaaaaaa, I can't even move in these cloths, please wear as much as I wear then you'll find what I'm nagging about. Dadyyyyyyyy heeeeellllllppppppppp

Seperate Room

How long Rozana should stay in our room? When's the time of her Independence and our privacy? In psychological book's it's written from the 1st birthday, but in our room it's different. Day by day she prefers more to stay beside us and wakes up times and again for being sure of our presence.
Last night I was counting every 30 minutes when she woke up. Maybe she felt cold ...

Expressing

I always like Thursdays, even if I don't have car for turning back home, even if I don't find any time for reading a line of news or going to barber for making a cleaner face or ... out of work.
I love this feeling of waiting, waiting for hugging, feeding, playing, bathing and sleeping Rozana, waiting for being all a day with Mehrdad, waiting for feeling satisfaction of passed week, waiting for .... becoming one day older than before.
Should I really being waited for the last part? It means I'm becoming one day closer to my death and being apart of beloved ones and ...
But generally I'm happy of these days toward oldness but somehow unable to express the feeling. It's a cycle rounding in my mind but not disturbing ,because it's the cycle of my life.
Sorry if I made you confused by this post.

Eid Mobarak

Tomorrow is Ghoban Eid in moslims calendar. It's remembrance of sacrificing Esmail by his father as an order of God in ancient history and rest of it...
But it also has another meaning for me. 2 years ago on a day such today(around 30 December 2006) I saw my pregnancy test result and humped as high as possible. It was the first day that Rozana entered my world (really one and cyber one) and up to now I'm having her aside.
So maybe it's the reason of my happiness for today.

Bye Kindergarten

Happiness can have lots of meanings:
It can mean having your Mehrdad beside at home.
It can mean having your mom available at home.
It can mean having your grandma's health improving day by day.
It can mean having your little princess healthy again.
It can mean having some nice friends helping you in these past tough days.
It can mean having all these 10 days at your behind for looking back and thanking kind God times and again.


Now I'm really full of prosperity and love.