Rozana

At last everything is finished or better to say everything is started now. She is with us, very healthy and tranquil, so cute and sweaty and all the other adjectives you need for describing a source of life….
She is 9 day old now. At born date she was 3.250 kg and her height was 50-cm. The measure of the around area of her head was 37 cm and she was healthy so we left the hospital on Sunday noon.

Now I can sit behind monitor and write about her but now with lots of differences, I have a new experience in my life, which made these last 9 days very strange.

Before Rozana’s birth I always thought that it’s a sweet miracle, done by God to make a new inspiration in people’s life but now I look at this miracle from another view:
Have you ever been unconscious? What do you think about those moments, which you are not here, but you are here and they are making a surgery on your body? It was like a dream for me, exactly a dream that was sweet at first and became a nightmare when I was becoming conscious after 2 hours. This time is a gap in my mind; the only thing, which made it tolerable, was the first moment when a nurse put Rozana in my arms. Then gradually I believed that my dream is over and now I’m again in the world.
Have you ever been as weak as a worm, even not able to move your leg or hands and just gazing at your mom or nurse to help you for moving your head to the other side?
Or better to say have you ever felt you are that much weak which are not able to live without your mothers help?(what will happen for those who don’t have any mother available for helping?)
Have you ever asked about your husband just by SMS to avoid making your daughter awake? Have you felt that how much you have missed him although you have been with each other all the day?
These first 9 days were very strange, I wasn’t good at babysitting and wasn’t able to stop her hunger by breastfeeding so she was hungry and just crying. Her uncomfortable ness made me sad and I was crying with her.

I wrote all these problems to prove that having a child is not as easy as my estimations but now honestly I can confess something, her existence costs all these tiny problems. When she is laughing at her sleep, when she is looking forward you to stop her hunger, when she is looking at you after cleanings by calmness …. Then you can only thank God for being this much fortunate of having her.

I’ll try to write more in my weblog but if it doesn’t happen it’s not my fault ;)
In attachment you can look at some of her first day’s photos:

Week - 39 (Last Week)

Finally you are coming. This is my last post before your birth. You are coming to a new world full of people and animals, toys and cloths, foods and drinks and lots of feelings like sadness and happiness.
We are ready for your coming. Last night your grandma and Mehrdad and I went to your new house and packed all the things needed for bringing you from hospital to home such as a suit of your cloths which is labeled as 0~3 months, a little bottle for feeding you, a soft towel, a light blanket and a suitcase for carrying you.
In the morning Atijoon came Iran. I didn’t go to the airport but she is coming in the afternoon to help us for making your room ready. I’ll take lots of photos and films for these last nights.
If everything be on time, I should go to the hospital on Saturday morning at 6 AM and up to 8:30 they will make me ready for the surgery and then you will be born between 9~9:20. I’ll be conscious about 11AM and then will be able to look at your face……….. I was waiting for this moment even more than 9 months.
I don’t know what to write today, I’m really excited, it’s somehow unbelievable that you are coming to my hands in 2 days, even I’m feeling this excitement in the face of your father and grandparents.
Come to me my little angel, come to us my Rozana.
Welcome to your new world…

Week - 38

باز کن چشمت را
تا دلم باز شود
قصه زندگی آغاز شود
تا که از پنجره چشمانت عشق آغاز شود
تا دلم باز شود تا دلم باز شود.

سرد سرد است اینجا
باز کن پنجره را
باز کن چشمت را
شاد کن جان مرا.

.
.
.
We are all here waiting for you my little princess. After weeks of waiting…after lots of praying to the kind God… after lots of stress for making your house ready…. And after lots of kindnesses from your friends and family who were always with me to not feeling alone.
I don’t know if you are with us next week or not but just want to make you sure that we are all here waiting for you…

Week - 37

Hi honey. Again another Thursday and the turn of our talking!!! How are you? From now, you are totally complete and are only gaining weight. It means that you are definitely ready for coming to us.
Your movements are very strong and I feel that while you are not comfortable, you do your most to make your situation better.
I somehow, am different from other moms. Most of the women are counting these last days to see the face of their little angel ASAP, but I’m praying to make this time as long as possible. I had my own reasons for my wish. First of all, before your birthday I think you are the closes member of family to me. I’m feeling your wake and sleep times, I’m feeling your hip hops, I’m feeling your comfort … I mean just by my feelings which is so intimate and personal, I’m looking at you. But after your birth this close relation will change. My second reason is our house, which was given to us 2 weeks later than our estimation. Now your grandma and I are going here and there to buy the staffs needed. I prefer to make everything ready before your come, see, it’s really better for both of us to keep you safe in my belly and do works.
And good news, next week while I’m writing our weekly talks, Attijoon is with us. It seems that all those long waiting times are getting shorter and shorter.
Kisssssssss honey for today. Be sure everything is OK here; don’t make your nice mind worried. Just rest and have fun. Bye for today.

Technology

My father has some magazines, which have been printed 48 years ago. They are his youth memories. Yesterday I had a look at them. It brought me to that era and by reading that time advertisements, I really felt of being there.
One of the advertisements was about the first electrical door opener in Iran called Ef-Ef. In one complete page they had written about the benefits of using it instead of going to the door for opening. Now we have picture door openers after 50 years, you can see the picture of the man who is at door and then open his way.
I was thinking about next 50 years, what is the new innovation of that time. Maybe you can permit the man behind the door to come into the house just by wires, no need of walking!!!!!!!! Or maybe you can send him to another door just by 1 click!!!!
Technology is running so fast and tracing it is some how fantastic. What do you think?!!

Old Bazzar

Today I went to traditional gold Bazaar of Tehran. Its located in the old area which had been one of the best places 40 years ago. People who are walking there are totally different than those ones who I see daily in my ordinary life,even they are not similar to Mashadi’s. In my opinion they are from another world, wearing Chador, walking with slippers, buying very heavy yellow gold and talking about their husbands as HajiAgha.
Sometimes I really miss being in such environments, its sort of a feeling that shows me I’m in my own country. Maybe I’m living far from them or maybe my own problems don’t give me free time to think about that part of my mind, but today I really enjoy being in such pollution and hot weather at the center of Tehran because of watching them!!!

Again Fuel

Isn’t it funny that while about 800000 people haven’t got their fuel smart card yet, then the government spokesman talk about 20m liter reduction in fuel consuming?!!!!!!! I agree that in Iran 1 liter fuel is cheaper than 1-liter mineral water, but this way of controlling consumption, without further researches about the disabilities that are given to people is not valid in any other country.
When we are reading in the news that the price of oil has broken a new record in all the oil history, then comparing it with this new situation and even more; reading about the quarrels resulted to murder just for 1 fuel smart card, then what more could you do except a great sigh!?

Week - 36

Hi my sweat heart. How are you? I’m really glad of feeling you naughty in this small place in my belly, it somehow means that you are safe and suit there.
Your improvements in these last weeks are so faster than before. It means that you are doing your best to check out from “Hotel Mom”. Your weight is about 2750 gr and your length is about 45 cm. At nights most of the times I should wake up and drink water and have a walk, I think I’m making myself ready for your come while I should wake up and feed you. Aha, something else yesterday was the international day of breast-feeding. Most of the TV channels were discussing about the benefits of this job. In one of the programs a doctor was talking about the differences between the new born babies. She said some of you make mother’s breast empty in only 7 minutes and some of you need at least 45 minutes to satisfy your hunger. She said those children who fall into the second group are those ones who are so cool in next years. I’m really curious to see you are in which category. I guess you are from the second group, lets see the future.
Last week we went and meet Farbod. He was so small. I’m sure you’ll become good friends in the future. Looking at him while he was trying to eat his dinner (!) and then sleeping was so cute.
Gradually I’m becoming sure that we can’t move to the new house before your birth. It means that when you get born, then we help each other to make your room. But I should say something else; you really have a very generous grandma, because we are living with them almost 40 days before your birth and maybe 20 days after it. I’m writing these lines here to remind her kindness next 20 years while we are reading these lines with each other. It should be written to be remembered always!!!
OK, honey, as always I’m kissing you and advising for getting all the food I send you and also rest as much as you can. Babye.

Persian & English

I always think that English is the language of logical people and Persian is the language of talking about the senses and feelings.
In both languages you can find appropriate words in order to express yourself. But it’s a fact that we can never find poems like Hafiz’s and Molana’s in English. Maybe they believe that they have strong literature but they can never enjoy reading a piece like us.
It was my feeling yesterday after reading A Little Princess’s Father comments. Just by writing some lines he showed his feelings but it was harder if he want to use English !!!