Again ...

Although I'm looking older, having less free time, doing just common works in life, promoted at work, asking everyone to take care of Rozana in my mama's absence .... but should confess that i'm thinking about another child as a probability. Whenever I hear one of my friends or relatives are pregnant I envy her and wish I was in her position.
Being mother is a sense which costs lots of problems. Gradully while breast-feeding of Rozana is reducing I feel my motherness or innocense is fading. Maybe I'm wronge, A mother is always a mother, after even 80 years she is a mother . But I'm dying for a new feeling of motherness.

Kiss you my little angel a lottttttttttttt.

First Hair-Cut

Yesterday Rozana had her first hair-cut in a saloon. Ofcourse she was better than our predictions and let woman do her job but at the end she didn't let them make her hair dried so came back with wet hair!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Those nice hair are under this red hat,maybe you'll see them in the next post :D

No Trust

These days my mind is so busy on a matter of cheap people who are not reliable and not worth to be kind to them. I did something for some one with the aim of helping and now she is using it against me for the sake of her own benefit.
It's not the important part of the story because I won't be disturbed at the end , but the important part is my relying to the people who is faded now.
I think I can't rely anyone any more( except a very close range of people), any how all these reasons caused me not giving even a look to the people who were waiting for taxi in yesterday rainy day( I used to fetch women who were in rainy weather waiting for car for no money) , It caused me trying to be a worse person.

Ching-Chang-Chung

This is Rozana in her Malaisan dress.
You can trace the process of her nagging and end of it by taking Mehrdad's mobile phone!!!!!!!!!

Chelleh

Tonight is called Chelleh in Iranians calendar, a night for being with our parents in the longest night of the year and enjoying the feeling of having someone beside.
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We are going to my parents home, we are going to have happy moments...
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Last night Mehrdad and I had argument at about 2AM !!! It was about way of making Rozana asleep. She sleeps ONLY in her father's arms!!!!!!!! Maybe it's out of my recklessness or my carelessness or my cruelness but whatever the reason is, the important part is the result. Now we have a boiled daughter who will be sick if doesn't see his father a night and when they are with each other , she asks with her screams for his hug. It results to his tiredness in nights, my calm sleeping and a procedure which I know is wrong.
It's Mehrdad's kindness taking care of her during nights but we should change as soon as possible for preventing more problems, what do you think?

Snow

Yesterday we saw the first serious snow in Tehran. We were invited and doubtful for going or not. Finally decided to go but Mama was just calling and asking to come back sooner. Anyhow, we enjoyed the party beside friends and Rozana eat and walk and played as much as she could. Then we came back. Gradually we were nearing Darabad the snow was becoming heavier. With lots of prays and worries we came to our alley but the car wasn't able to enter parking so parked it outside.
In the morning again we had problems. Ground was so slippery and car was going where ever it liked. Any how , everything is OK now. But I'm always wondering how fragile we are in Tehran. A 2 hour snow can stop all ordinary live procedures.

Winter Cloths

Mamaaaaaaaaaaa, I can't even move in these cloths, please wear as much as I wear then you'll find what I'm nagging about. Dadyyyyyyyy heeeeellllllppppppppp

Seperate Room

How long Rozana should stay in our room? When's the time of her Independence and our privacy? In psychological book's it's written from the 1st birthday, but in our room it's different. Day by day she prefers more to stay beside us and wakes up times and again for being sure of our presence.
Last night I was counting every 30 minutes when she woke up. Maybe she felt cold ...

Expressing

I always like Thursdays, even if I don't have car for turning back home, even if I don't find any time for reading a line of news or going to barber for making a cleaner face or ... out of work.
I love this feeling of waiting, waiting for hugging, feeding, playing, bathing and sleeping Rozana, waiting for being all a day with Mehrdad, waiting for feeling satisfaction of passed week, waiting for .... becoming one day older than before.
Should I really being waited for the last part? It means I'm becoming one day closer to my death and being apart of beloved ones and ...
But generally I'm happy of these days toward oldness but somehow unable to express the feeling. It's a cycle rounding in my mind but not disturbing ,because it's the cycle of my life.
Sorry if I made you confused by this post.

Eid Mobarak

Tomorrow is Ghoban Eid in moslims calendar. It's remembrance of sacrificing Esmail by his father as an order of God in ancient history and rest of it...
But it also has another meaning for me. 2 years ago on a day such today(around 30 December 2006) I saw my pregnancy test result and humped as high as possible. It was the first day that Rozana entered my world (really one and cyber one) and up to now I'm having her aside.
So maybe it's the reason of my happiness for today.

Bye Kindergarten

Happiness can have lots of meanings:
It can mean having your Mehrdad beside at home.
It can mean having your mom available at home.
It can mean having your grandma's health improving day by day.
It can mean having your little princess healthy again.
It can mean having some nice friends helping you in these past tough days.
It can mean having all these 10 days at your behind for looking back and thanking kind God times and again.


Now I'm really full of prosperity and love.

Contract

Dear Mehrdad,
I'm trying to accept your apologies of losing my nice old Canon digital camera. But all contracts have a fee, and this is the picture of the fee;) So try to make the contract absolutely!!!!!!!


P.S. Even color of the fee is same as my blog!

My Angel

She walks and says Mama, Mama, ... She laughs and says Mama, Mama... She nags and says Mama, Mama... These magic words are turning to the best words I've ever heard. Even now when we sleep together on the bed (Mehrdad's absence resulted in this change :D ),although she wakes up times and again during night ,but her smell makes me mad and I wish these moments last forever, a confusing paradox in my life. I want to see her improvements but also love this childish moments.
Again I've missed her at work!!!!!!!!

My Little Princess

Where are you dady? I've missed you sooooooo much!

Changes

These last days where the start of very new changes in my life, thanks God they are temporary. First of all my garndma's sickness, then Rozana and kindergarten, then absence of Mehrdad( he left us to South Korea and Malaysia as a working job) , then having my father as guest every night (out of his kindness he comes every night for not making Rozana and I feel alone), ... and now I think I'm adopting to the new situation. Of course absence of Mehrdad is felt all over the house but I believe that these hard moments of life are bases of having happiness in near future.

I'm reading a new weblog everyday. It's Here. I love the music and also content. Check it out.

Improvements

I'm talking about my little princess again, I'm talking about her improvements:
Before bringing her to kindergarten I had another face in my mind. I always thought it's a bad place which is Very mandatory for the children and every morning they go by force, I thought it's a reverse procedure in their training system and maybe in the future those children will become angry and unsatisfied, and lots of other similar thought... but now I'm changed. Now I think it's a place which is certainly made for training them, with some kind teachers who are trying always act the role of mothers ,and lots of other children who are an exercise of making correct communications with new friends for those babies who are the only child in their families.
...and her improvements: She answers us when we ask about the sound of sheeps( Baaa ,Baaa ). She says Aba(water) when she is thirsty, becomes happy when I'm preparing her food, sings when baby programs starts in TV, dances when a rhythmic song is played, Loves making mess out of her toys in the room, helps bringing the cloths out when I say we are going to take bath, Reads book by herself in her words...


P.S. Dear Anonymous, you are right, the blog music is Godfather.

A Good Day

Don't worry, she is absolutely OK.
Yesterday when I went to her kindergarten for bringing her home I wasn't upset of her new place but I was upset that she can't see Mama for almost 10 days. She really loves her ,somehow another mom and of course an experienced one.

Yesterday I had an interesting SMS conference with a friend: Do you think women are wiser than men but because of keeping them ,have been disguised to some fool ones? If this case is true , then do you think this action is out of their wisdom or their kindness? It's a nice contrast, isn't it?

Another reason of my good feeling is buying lots of new books yesterday. We are in the week named for book-readers and librarians. It's just a remembrance for us to take close relationship with libraries.

...

I'm tired of myself, what should I do?!!!!!!!!!!

News

World of news is always interesting for me, but I think recently the types of the news have been changed.
We are used to hear about Palestine quarrels, Persian Gulf changing name procedure, USA efforts for restrictions, NPT... but these days we are getting used to hear about Somalian pirates seized our trading ships, Unqualified members of the government, ever-increasing rate of inflation ...
You see, even news are showing great changes.

P.S. Rozana stayed longer in her kindergarten yesterday. Mama is leaving us today ,so her changing will officially start from Saturday.

First School Day

Yesterday was a good start........ Rozana stayed in her kindergarten for 2 hours, no crying, no nagging, no disturbing, only laughing, playing, singing and enjoying the happy environment. Even Mama said she became so talkative and was doing her best for communicating other babies. In her class there are only 2 children so the instructor has enough time for taking care. Also she was surprised that Rozana had eaten all her breakfast with no need to especial efforts. They've shortened her nails and combed her hair and put a little nice strap on it. She hadn't resist!!!
I'm again asking kind God for my grandma health. If my Mama came back from Mashad I'll stop putting Rozana in kindergarten for about 6 months but after that time I'll do it regularly. Rozana needs to be with other children, keeping her all the times in the house is like prisoning a little princess in the castle.
I hope when she looks back these lines maybe in 20 years, then she agrees with me.

But generally what's your ideas about these problems?

Kindergarten

Today I brought Rozana and Mama to a kindergarten near the home!!!!!!! My grandma is sick, she is in hospital so Mama should go to Mashad but for babysitting my girl she is still here. I know we won't forget these days if ... something happen to grandma ,so Mama should be in Mashad and .... Today was the first day and I hope this education period doesn't last more than 10 days( Imagine a 15 months old baby vs education !!!) Really I'm confused and also sad. I love grandma, obviously no need to mention here again. I', praying my always king God for giving her health again.

Back

Is this damn blogger really opened from work place? I'm surprised......

Appointment With Mothers Of Internet

This is not Rozana eating a bar of chocolate, but she is shown after eating one of my expensive lipsticks!!!!!! She said it was delicious :D

On Thursday some of mom-bloggers (This name was created right now) are going to gather in Superstar of Parkway , around 16:30. If you are interested and are living in Tehran then surely you are also invited and we will be glad visiting you with or without any little princess.

Still Here

I know it's very impolite if you don't update the weblog for a long time(As Noonoosh said) ,but this time(like most of previous times) it was blogger and DCI 1fault because I can't open my page at work.
Now I'm typing these lines Rozana is beside me and is trying to put her foot upper and come on the desk!!!!!!! So imagine how hard is blogging from home :D
This photo was taken yesterday when we came out of the bathroom. Iran's weather is gradually getting cold and I put on scarf after lots of discussions with her ( What a discussion with a 15 months old daughter !!!!! )

Prison

Being in a prison is not a necessary element for being a prisoner. You can be at work, sitting in a nice room, behind a computer with a broadband access to internet, meeting nice colleges but still be a prisoner.

I'm dying for walking in this nice rainy weather after long period of hot days but I should stay here. Today I'm a prisoner again!!!

Cool & Warm

We are not supposed to be friend with everyone meeting during the day but we are supposed to be friend with our beloved ones.
This sentence has occupied my mind recently and I'm trying to remember it in the common life time. Honestly now I feel better. Reacting cool with cool ones and hugging your beloved ones friendly is giving me a self-satisfaction. Maybe this manner of thinking is somehow out of egoistic ways of thinking but I like it, because gives me honor and also makes me a special and cozy place in a part of mind for the friends.

Holy Sleep

The match is finalized and Iliya won the game. As we all promised I'm putting his nice photo here and also the link of her mom blog:

Mamane Iliya

Khale Sanaz

Today I saw that another friend has joined to the nice world of weblogs. She is amature in this field but it's not important for the enterance( we all were the same) , the importance is her kindness and also sharpness which has made her a totally different person for me. I don't have any sister and now I have 2, Sanaz and Attieh,so she is one of the aunts( khale's) of Rozana. It's a good event for the ending of this damn week ;)
Here is the link of her blog:
Khale Sanaz

Fell Down

This week wasn't actually a good one. At the start of the week that funny car accident and in the middle I felt down the stairs on my waist. It was so painful which made me no move for 2 days and even now I'm feeling the pain and I should say this time it was totally my fault because I was running carelessly on the stairs and when look back then ...
I wasn't able hugging Rozana and it was the most difficult part but thanks God that there are always my parents available in these situation otherwise I don't know what should I do.

There are only 2 days of this week left. We are those who make a week going bad or good and I want to have fun in the rest days.


This is a photo of a crying little princess with fairy wings :D

Car Accident

Today I was parking my car in the workplace parking lot. It's the place which I everyday park it but this time the security man came and insisted in guiding me for making a better job!!!! I felt uncomfortable in saying that I can do it by my own so let him help, but you know what happened at last? Now there is a long line on the back door!!!!!!!!! I was really angry out of these nosy and fool people. Why don't you let women do their driving in their own manner which is with more attention ?!!!
You men always think are better in driving and also guiding, but remember that a good driver is not necessarily always a good guider too.
I don't know how inform Mehrdad about it?

Thursdays

Writing on Thursday always reminds me about my pregnancy days when I wrote about Rozana's weekly improvements in my body. Yesterday I heard about one of my friends who is pregnant and really missed those nice days. It's a very good memory in every mother's mind, days of keeping a creature in your body as a fragile gift by God and talking with her without any voice or touching her without any contact.
I love Thursday, maybe because of being before Fridays( Official weekly holiday in Iran) and I feel better than other days. Today is the start of good weekend and I'm sure a good week too.
Enjoy all precious times of being with your beloved ones !!!

Come Back

Thanks God that this Blogger.com decided to be opened from my work place too. These past days which I wasn't writing, I'd decided to update it from home but lots of reasons were there for not doing it. First one Rozana, Second one Rozana ( in her awakens time she sits on the pc desk and turns the monitor on and off repeatedly),third one Rozana and for the forth and fifth I can count my house work, mountain of cloths should be ironed, maybe a dish should be cooked( not regularly), talking to some friends on the phone .... and Oooops! it's 12 and I didn't have any energy for sitting and writing here. But now I can write fresh in the morning.
This photo was taken in Tabriz near IlGoli.

Body & Soul

There is a film (I don't know the name) which shows weight of people before and after dying almost differs 26grams. It's a little bit tricky; does this fact have any relationship with our soul?!!! Does it have any weight? Even Mehrdad says when he is hugging Rozana and walk in the room for making her asleep (She loves this way of going to sleep) then he feels her weight has been reduced and it's the start time of her sleeping. That's a fact that we are souls in the bodies, those bodies are not permanent and we ought to take care of it up to the time of leaving, so how coward are those people who commit suicide out of common problems.


P.S. I can't update my weblog from workplace any more. It seems some IP problems but from home it's OK. I'll write about the conclusion results of the Holy Sleep voting in the next post.

Holy Sleep

There is a match between mothers in the weblog that they should put photos of sleeping time of their angels and then a team will vote for the best picture. Here are some pictures from different ages of Rozana:

Park In Eftar Time

Sometimes you have lots of free times which you are counting moments to be passed and some other times you don't find even any moment for taking a look at the mirror. in both cases I'm saying myself you shouldn't forget Rozana and her needs.
Especially for this reason last night, when I saw she is nagging and got board , I drove to Niavaran Park around Eftar time. There were lots of parking lots in front of the main door and I guessed how many people are there !!!! Only Rozana and 2 other kids were there. She played and enjoyed of being the only one using that playing yard but I was a little bit afraid. Weather turned dark and I felt I've missed home ,so turned back sooner than before, but generally she enjoyed the time and I was satisfied after all.

Made In China

"Made In China" this is a sentence which is seen almost all over, on the toys, cooking wares, computer equipments, shoes, bags, cloths, even garlics ( how silly) .... I feel if everything goes on with no changes maybe in some years we will see people made in china in all the world. This country is spreading its manufactured equipments with good and bad qualities every where but unfortunately Iran part is the bad part. I don't know why they are allowed to import this amount of unqualified wares to my country while internal producers are suffering from this procedure?!

Rozana Improvements

I was reading my weblog today and suddenly I felt I've missed Rozana a lot via my writings. It seems that it's along time that I haven't written about her except uploading new photos, so I'm writing only about her today:
She is ... turning to a kid from an infant. Now she runs very well, try to go up and down the stairs, sings her pieces with her own language, even talks with us and sometimes when sees we don't understand her she screams. She drinks milk with glass, in the mornings prefers tea of course. She understands when we order her for not doing bad jobs, at first she glances to me and then starts crying but doesn't do that job. I want to jump and hug her in those moments of cryings when she is angry from me but I'm trying to control myself for not spoiling her.
Two weeks ago she had her 12 months old vaccines. In our entrance to the doctor office she turned to me and was only keeping my cloths, also frowning to the doctor. I was surprised how she remembers the face of her after a months and also remembers a bad memory. Then after 2 weeks red spots appear on her skin and also she got flue. It was a good symptom because shows that my sweetheart will never get MMR diseases.
Because she runs all the day so her sleeping times have become more programmed, sometimes when she is asleep I go on her head and kiss her until she feels uncomfortable, really when she is asleep I think I've missed part of my life. Gradually this love feelings are making me fearing of the day that I'm not with her any more ...
She still has 4 teeth, like white jewells in her tiny mouth, very sharp and useful especially for biting fruits and sometimes poor mama!!!
In the mornings when she wakes up and sees Mehrdad and I she welcomes us with a very nice smile which is different from the other hours of the day. That smile shows that my little angel have come back to us from the other angels again. This experience is repeating every morning.
I can write about her breathing, eating, walking, crying, exciting, ...




When will the day come that she comes and reads these lines?!!! Thank you my kind God for giving me these much happiness in the life.

In The Basket

Thank you Khale Sanaz for inviting me and plz accept my appologize for pouring candies on the table. I enjoyed a lot that day and this is one of my photos in one of your best decorations of the room :D

Shahkar Bineshpajooh

Last week I heard some songs by a very unknown Rap singer named Shahkar Bineshpajooh. Have you heard his music? It's wonderful, fantastic, incredible ,.... I realy enjoyed all the moment I was listening it and I repeated it times and again.
In these days which most of TV channels are full of cheap songs by very young and immature teenagers , having the chance of listening a piece like " Kenaram Bekhab" ( name of one of his songs) is a good incident in your life ;)

...

When you have nothing to write or don't have enough time it's better to put a recent picture of Rozana for showing that you are still up to date ;)

No Title

I'm so busy these days. Ramadan Eftaries beside early waking ups for eating Saharies have changed all of my day programs. Rozana is actually running all the time except the moments of her rest. Mehrdad comes home earlier than before and I enjoy preparing dish for a family who are never with each other at meal times except Ramadan.
Last week I invited all female friends who have come to visit Rozana in last year.
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.
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in Ramadan our working hours has redudced 2 hours per day so I also don't find enough time for updating this blog but I'm doing my best to be still up to date.

Ramadan

Tomorrow is the start of of Ramadan in Iran. I don't know if I should fast or not(because of feeding Rozana). Anyhow I love this month, it's a kind of remembrance of memories : Azan , Rabbana, Ash, Nunpanirsabzi, Being hungry in all the day and then not very much enthusiasm for eating after Eftar, ...چند خوردی چرب و شیرین از طعام, trying to be a better human than before, Eftar guests, visiting friends in Eftaries, Doaye Sahar (although after marrying Mehrdad I haven't heard it a lot) .... I can talk about all the good memories of Ramadan.

I congratulate this month to all people who become happy of the start of it, Congratulations!!!

Rozana In Mashad

She had another Birthday party there, although we didn't find any time to visit ImamReza's shrine!!!!!!!!
Mashad weather was so hot, so Every afternoon we put a big bowl full of warm water in my grandma's yard and then Rozana played in it for about 1 hour. I'm sure it was one of the best parts of her trip.
We went with airplane, before and after the flight was alittle bit hard because she only wants to walk and I should go wherever she likes with a big suitcase but during the flight she slept and gave me some rest too.
I don't know when I'll be able to go there again but hope as soon as possible.

Teeth

We went to travel in last 4 days, it was an unmanaged one and I was afraid if Rozana become ill, but thanks kind God that everything went OK.
We were in Astara, Sarein and Tabriz. It was the first time I visited Tabriz and a very good experience. I'll publish the photos after a week while we come back from Mashad( WE are going there tomorrow and will stay for 6 days). Although Mehrdad and I had argument today morning but I should confess that I'll miss him ;) !!!!!
Anyhow, a good memory of this trip was looking at 2 nice and sharp teeth of Rozana on her upper part of the mouth. I was waiting for the lower part so it was a complete surprise. Now I'm sure that she has got enough D Vitamin.

Maybe I won't be able to write these days, so till then bye.

Birthday

These are her last night Birthday party photos. She was very good, no cryings, no naggings, no sleeping, only playing and laughing. Really I enjoyed ,the only missing part was my brothers and his wife absence which I can never get used to . In the middle of the party and at the end I was thinking about them.


It's turning to a custome to write about the day of last year in the children's blogs in their 1st birthday. So I'm writing, see how much I remember:
It's better to start from the previous day of Rozana's birthday. It was Friday. In the week before we had changed our house and still there were some things missing so in the morning Mehrdad and I went to Bazaar and bought a washing machine . We were in the returning was while Fattaneh rang. She talked for calming me and told about her experiences, even she was surprised that I was in Bazzar. I came my mama's home at about 2PM, ate lunch as much as I want with lots of lemon juice and olive oil (those ones who had sezarian knows why I should eat them). After lunch some of my other friends called, they were trying to calm me and now I see they were successful. Attie jun was in Iran and came to our house. she wants to come the next day. Anyhow, at least after 9 months and 6 days waiting, after 42 weeks of writing posts in the blog, after those sweet moments of hearing about my pregnancy ,hearing about her gender, feeling her first movement, looking at her sonography pictures and lots more , it was 5 AM 24th of August 2007. We was in the hospital at 6 and my preparation lasts for 90 minutes. I went and hugged my mama and Atti joon, for being honest at that moment I was thinking what will happen if I don't become conscious again. Then I talked in the camera which was in the surgery room and after that I don't remember anything, from that moment all my memories has changed to those frames which are showing me the moment of Rozana's birthday (8AM), her hurry in crying, her lovely figure when she was away from me and then ... little by little I was able hearing voices, first of all my mama's who were saying I had a very nice and healthy girl. So it was a girl, thanks God (up to the last moment I wasn't sure about it), then ... pains came. I was feeling my stomach is open and if I move all my organs will be throne away. even I was putting my hands on my belly for prevention!!! I went to my room, it was very tiny and hot ,I was thinking about her ... not remembering clearly .. suddenly a nurse brought a bunch of white cloth , put it beside me and said look, she is your daughter!!!!! Really I can't write about this moment. It was the result of all those pain tolerance ,it was my gift. after that they put her for feeding, she started quickly and made me damn happy. Then my mama changed my room and then some relatives and friends came for visiting.



Even now after 1 year I feel crying reviewing her birthday memories.

Happy Birthday my dear rozana, Happy Birthday my sweet little princess.

Birthday Gift

These are my gifts for Rozana's birthday, a brief review of last year which was very significant in my mind. You can see her improvements in these tiny pictures. I'll write about last year and also put her party pictures in the next post.
Thank you all kind friends for congratulation.

Preparation

We are preparing for Rozana's birthday party which will be held on next Saturday. actually it's 1 week sooner than her real day but because rozana and I are going to Mashad on that date I'm going to hold ceremony 1 week sooner.
It's not the first birthday party going in our home( from the start of our common life every year Mehrdad and I had our own parties) but it's the first one which I'm preparing 1 week sooner and am happy of having it.
Two days ago I brought Rozana to Photography laboratory and took some portrait pictures of her. Even now when I remember how much tricks I used to make her laughing in that hot and tiny place I feel tired but now when I look at her pictures I see it worth that much efforts. This is one of those photos.

Olympic 2008

These days in all the TV channels and also newspapers you are hearing about 2008 Olympic games which is held in China. I don't want talking about it but only nagging about Iran representatives.
Yesterday we were watching the beginning ceremony, lots of athletes from more than 100 countries were coming in the monitor with smiley faces and shaking hands for the world. They were all happy and young. Then monitors show the president or the sport responsible of their country. Lots of presidents were there, US, Denmark, Afghanistan, Israel, ....
After 1 hour waiting for Iranians at last they came. Ohhhhhhh, their cloths were awful, very bad green color for suits and women dress!!!! I don't know what symbol was this color!!! ...and our athletes, they were not very tidy and also not very happy. They were moving hands slightly (maybe scared of being blamed in the future for showing a happy face). Then it was the turn of showing face of president... no one were there, ...the next country came. Even that Italian man (I was watching from an Italian channel) didn't talk anything about us on the contrary of other ones which even shows the place of the country on the world map and talk about the hopes of gold medals... OOpps what shit has done this damn Ahmadinejhad which even nobody look at us in Olympic.
I was angry and changed the channel to Iran .... oh even our national TV wasn't showing the festival lively!!! I became angry and went out with Rozana.

In Niavaran Park ,Twins & Cat

Rozana's Friends

Yesterday I was doing housework while the door bell ranged. I wasn't waiting for anyone so I guessed it could be a beggar and didn't answered. Again it ranged and made me open the door. I saw two little nice girls ,dressed in pink Barbie T-shirt and Pants ,holding their dolls and waiting for me. They said we have come to play with Rozana!!!!!!!!! It was the first time I have Rozana's guests. That moment was very significant in my mind. They didn't understand my feeling, just came and went into her room. I brought Rozana there and put some toys and Legos for playing and also brought some biscuits to eat. Rozana was very very happy and only laughing and trying to play with those toys which were ordinary before and I was only enjoying from the feeling of having a girl who has friends coming for playing... Even now I'm sensing that much pleasure of visiting those little girls in with my skin.

Google Trends

Yesterday I found that you can see the compression of the searchers of a specific word in Google Trends. It even shows you the details of that country domain by name of it's cities.
For my curiosity I searched 'sex' and 'sexy girls', the results were noticeable. For both words Iran was in the top ten,even for the second one we were in the 5th position. Remember that we have a very strong filtering software which never let us open a link directly using these types of words in address bar and also we are Moslims.

I don't understand why most of these top ten countries are Moslims?!!!!!! Maybe we are falling from another side of the roof unwantedly.( It's a verbal shows that you should keep equilibrium in order to be a healthy one.)

New cloth

Rozana in her new cloths sewed by my mother. Maybe she is not an engineer but she is a good one ( better to say a perfect one) in her career. Thank you.

Rozana

Miss you at work my little princess.

A Tough Day

Yesterday was one of the most tiring days in Rozana's life. Up to 6PM when we were out everything were OK and she was enjoying of being with me, clapping and even singing in her own language. Then I feel she is somehow sleepy so I drove home but unfortunately the electricity went off at the moment we reached. I guessed it wouldn't come back for 2 hours and saw children are playing in the yard, so I put her on the push chair and wait till 8 with them. But unfortunately there wasn't any electricity still. She was totally sleepy and also hungry and was nagging a lot. I hugged her and came 5 floors up, really unable to breath at our apartment door(she is heavy for me carrying 98 steps). I feed her and tried to make her sleep ,but she hasn't seen candles beams and it was disturbing her concentration. I lighted lots of candles because I guessed she would be frightened and ... my guess were true. When the weather was perfectly dark and there weren't any light except candles she started crying. I wasn't able to calm her, weather was so hot even a spot breeze wasn't in the air. She was hungry but not eating anything.... I was crying and only cursing those ones who cause this much problems for people out of their illiterate decisions in the country. At 9:30 Mehrdad reached home and brought us out of that hell. First we went and bought a shirt for Rozana (after testing it she felt down the chair and cried a lot :( ) ,then he bought some dinner and went to a park. We sat on the ground and exactly at that moment I was feeling a little tranquility. Rozana didn't eat much but she was happy in that cold and also lighted environment and started playing with herself again.
Before reaching home I phoned my mother about the electricity and she said it's come back at 10:15PM!!!! (almost 4 hours, how shameful ) .
After she slept, I liked crying with an appreciation feeling about Mehrdad. He really saved me last night.

Rozana, 11 Months Old

Yes, she is 11 months old, even I can't believe how fast but sweet these months has passed.
On thursday we went to visit her pediatricioan. she asked weather she walks 4 steps or says mama- baba or not. Of course my answers were yes but when she asked about the number of her teeth I said nothing!!! She checked her head and mouth again and said this age is the last anticipated time for those ones who have normal growings. But because Rozana doesn't have any teeth and also her head hasn't still become hard so maybe she is suffering from lack of D vitamin which can be given by sun beams. She said in Tehran it's very common that infants don't see any sun during their age. Otherwise it could be caused by genetic reasons. I'd my teeth grown at the age of 7 months but not sure about Mehrdad , unfortunately his mother is not sure either.
Anyhow I'm going to take a picture from Rozana's wrist to determine the amount of her bone density. If it's not enough then we'll add more dozes of D vitamin, in her daily drops or in a vaccine.

Her measures at this age:
Weight = 10.200kg Height= 76cm Head Area = 49cm

Gift

After lots of thinking I found what should I give Rozana in her birthday. I have 1 month time so I should hurry... You'll see my selection at that date of course.

Daily

I wake up at 6 in the morning, feed Rozana while she is asleep, change her diaper, make Mehrdad wake up ,wear cloths, drink 2 glass of milk, hug Rozana and go to my moms house. Then come with Mehrdad to Tajrish square, he leave me for his work and I drive about 25 minutes to my work. I'm there at 7, getting around in the internet till 8 and reading news, then after a light breakfast my working day begins up to 13. At that time my eyes are tearing out of long hours of gazing at the monitor, maybe I should go to an optometrist very soon.
Any how, I leave there at 13:30 and then again 30 minutes driving I reach my mom's house. Rozana is waiting there for me, very energetic, very cute and also has missed me, so I should hug her at the first step and do playings for some minutes, then taking out my cloths and wash my hands for feeding her. After all these hurrying moments (around 14:15) I can sit with my mom and eat lunch. Thanks God that I shouldn't cook it, otherwise I should eat fried eggs everyday.
After lunch we go to our home, she is playing and walking behind me while I'm tiding tables, and trying to find some times for rest. most of the time not successful in this case so we go to bath together and stay for about 45 minutes( in the summer her bath has turned to a daily job). then drying her, put some lotion on her skin, feed her, water her and at this moment if I'm somehow lucky she feels sleepy so I can take rest for about 45 minutes. After this necessary break, she needs playing again. So most of the times we go to a park or just walking around,even sometimes go back to my mom's house as an afternoon place!!!! then coming home, giving her dinner, playing with her again till 11PM which is her bed time.
Yesterday when I proceeded all these steps Mehrdad said it's better for us to go to sleep too. In all the day we didn't find ant moment for talking and now when she wasn't there we were tired.
I was laughing to this procedure, she is taking all of our energy and when she feels there isn't any more then she gives us break.
It's a funny circle, I'm sure day by day gets better and maybe one day missing it, but now at this point it's like this.


P.S. After finishing this post a friend asked me about the time of Mehrdad coming back and also my cooking times: He is at home about 21:15 obviously very tired. When Rozana sees her father she runs to his arms, he tries to make her satisfied but you know it's very hard. So I should take Rozana and go to her room for letting Mehrdad take out cloths and rest for some minutes.
Most of the times I do my cookings in the afternoon while I'm waiting for the sleeping time of Rozana.

Walking

Yesterday when I reached home and saw there isn't any electricity for the elevator I was feeling damn tired. I went up 5 floors in hot weather and was only thinking about those stairs which I should come dawn in a few minutes and then again go up 5 floors in my home. With these thinking's I saw Rozana. Mom congratulated me for the first steps she had by her own !!!!!!! and laughed why we haven't found her talent before. I didn't believe her so she sat on the floor and made Rozana standing then suddenly opened her arms from her shoulder and she ran to me about 6 steps !!!!!!! How easily my feelings changed. This time I was damn happy.


I'm writing here for her reminding on the future: You took your first alone steps at the age of 10 months and 25 days old. I guess you'll start walking without any crawling ;) kiss you my little nice princess.